We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
Randomize
