I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
"Functional." Your standards for how you feel after drinking are so high.
When your night starts by chugging margarita and drinking vodka out of tupperware, I feel it's best to stay realistic.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
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