he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
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