Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
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