I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
Woke up with a treasure map of my room stuck with sticky tape to my ceiling. followed it and found $75 with a note saying; "eat this if we're invaded"... I'm never getting stoned again
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
Randomize
