i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
Randomize
