Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
Randomize