He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
Randomize
