I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Randomize
