Yea I just took my 1st pregnancy test. Turns out I am just fat. Also I haven't been with anyone in 3 months, which is clearly making me crazy.
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
Randomize
