Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
Randomize
