Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
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