omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
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