She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
Kristen just told everyone at the bar that I've got a huge dick, now Brittany is giving me the eye. What is the opposite of FML?
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
Randomize
