I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
Randomize
