i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
Randomize
