What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
Randomize
