He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
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