I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
Cause I came home. Im covered in green marker and jack daniels. Theres a taco and the words "we went to Mexico" on my wrist. Im a walking abomination.
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
All I wanted to do was come home from work and masturbate for national sex day... I sliced my the tip of finger giving myself a pedicure so I can’t even do that #singlelife
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
Randomize
