we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
I need a sign that says “please don’t make plans with me if I’ve had two or more drinks. I will regret them. I will have bitter feelings towards you. Then I will cancel and feel guilty.”
Randomize
