I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
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