I'm drunk in f*****g wisconsin and want to kill myself.
If it's any consolation, be grateful that you're not in New Jersey.
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
Randomize
