i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
I had new employee orientation at the YMCA today. I showed up with a hangover, a black eye, scratches down my arm, and a sore throat from puking gin and keystone.
you know you're not getting laid when you start breaking awkward silences with quotes from Robot Chicken
did that guy on the oscars really just tell me to text a dolphin?
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
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