I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
Randomize