i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
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