did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
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