Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
