we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
Last time i carry you out of a forest
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
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