Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
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