My liver just broke up with me...
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
Randomize
