Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
meet me or not, i'm out of control
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
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