I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
Randomize