someone get that fucking seahorse.
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
Randomize
