Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
Randomize
