My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
Randomize
