We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
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