I just made out with a guy for $7.
I want to have your abortion
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
My boyfriend texted me as I was texting some random hookup from last night. His text: "Morning baby" My response: "Your cum is in my hair"
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
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