In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
Using mass transit when I'm hungover makes me feel like I missed my calling as a serial killer
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
Randomize
