Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
fact: I now appreciate my drunken winter self even more. I just found $20 in my winter coat with a note that says keep yourself warm next winter. I am awesome.
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
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