dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
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