**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
Randomize
