is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
Damn victory sex feels great
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