Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants.
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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