so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
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