There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Randomize
