omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
Randomize
