wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
I deserve this hangover.
Let the clothes fall where they may.
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize
