My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
A woman with Alzheimer's pointed at me and said, "Don't forget to wear socks, because you're a lady!" I think it's legit advice.
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
Randomize
