Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
Randomize
