i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
i need to put some appletini on your dick
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
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