I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
This is the best 30th birthday ever. In a Motel 6 drinking a shower beer and sending slow-mo dick helicopter videos to you.
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