Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
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