We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
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