I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
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