so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
Randomize
