I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
