Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
Randomize
